all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
