he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
