We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
