it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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