separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Shame is for Republicans.
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