I wish I could punch you in the face.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
