Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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