yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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