I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
