Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
