Barsexuality is the new black.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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