dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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