The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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