so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
