she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
