Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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