You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
