by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
