no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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