He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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