Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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