I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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