My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
