so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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