I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
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