I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
