Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Your penis caused this!
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