No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
