Moan for me like Helen Keller
he puts the penis in happiness.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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