having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
