Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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