u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
