Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
