We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
