Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
