i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
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youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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