Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
