He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
