she woke up with a sticky ear
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
