So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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