Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
