I didn't shave. On purpose
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
we made out on top of his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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