my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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