she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
