my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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