So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
