It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
