are you so shy because you have an std?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
