Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
