I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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