She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
