thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
