We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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