i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
