Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
