i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
