I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
