is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
