Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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